Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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