Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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