And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
