I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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