Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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