I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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