Don't make out with my wife yet
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
