My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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