I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
