Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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