end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
even my farts smell like vagina
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
