if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
