dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
