Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
