next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the day after is always just damage control
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
