no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
