My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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