im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize