dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Rumble strips road head = magical
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
