I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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