You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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