I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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