sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
