Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
