Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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