I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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