I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I am one with the molecules
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
