My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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