Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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