my phone needs a breathalizer
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
