I love black thongs
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
