their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
