He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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