Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
