Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
