Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I got inside last night via doggy door
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize