His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
