census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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