This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
