I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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