oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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