What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
