Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
