how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
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