you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
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if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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