Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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