i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
