I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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