Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
