This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
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OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
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I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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