I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
