Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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