And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
this hospital has no fireball
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
