did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
