how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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