Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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