Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
