Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
