Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
